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    woody allen Quotes

    I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
    tags: die afraid
    — Woody Allen
    Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
    tags: success
    — Woody Allen
    Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
    tags: experience sex
    — Woody Allen
    In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
    — Woody Allen
    It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
    tags: die afraid
    — Woody Allen
    Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
    tags: men women right sex
    — Woody Allen
    No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
    tags: people
    — Woody Allen
    Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
    tags: right ideas money
    — Woody Allen
    My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign
    tags: thoughts wife
    — Woody Allen
    I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
    tags: afterlife
    — Woody Allen
    You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
    tags: people film year
    — Woody Allen
    To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
    tags: animals nature
    — Woody Allen
    Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
    tags: existence eternity
    — Woody Allen
    In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
    tags: live
    — Woody Allen
    You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
    tags: people comedy personality film
    — Woody Allen
    How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
    — Woody Allen
    I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
    tags: people
    — Woody Allen
    My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
    tags: education school
    — Woody Allen
    I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
    tags: believe
    — Woody Allen
    I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
    tags: depression
    — Woody Allen
    We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
    tags: choice despair right destruction hope path
    — Woody Allen
    In formulating any philosophy the first consideration must always be: What can we know? That is, what can we be sure we know, or sure that we know we knew it, if indeed it is at all knowable. Or have we simply forgotten it and are too embarrassed to say anything? Descartes hinted at the problem when he wrote, 'My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
    tags: problem body philosophy mind
    — Woody Allen
    Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
    tags: death sex
    — Woody Allen
    When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
    tags: writing
    — Woody Allen
    Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
    tags: problem toilet
    — Woody Allen
    I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
    — Woody Allen
    The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
    tags: people women god
    — Woody Allen
    Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love - the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
    tags: children men women child boys dog romantic lover mother
    — Woody Allen
    I foresee death by culture shock.
    tags: death culture
    — Woody Allen
    Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
    tags: sex
    — Woody Allen
    I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
    — Woody Allen
    All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
    tags: truth people live
    — Woody Allen
    I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
    tags: movie
    — Woody Allen
    Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college,
    tags: bad parent
    — Woody Allen
    Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
    — Woody Allen
    Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
    tags: dying
    — Woody Allen
    Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
    tags: movie american
    — Woody Allen
    The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
    tags: death fear thoughts problem afterlife
    — Woody Allen
    Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
    tags: worries
    — Woody Allen
    A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
    tags: men people boys strength
    — Woody Allen
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    woody allen
    Birth    : December 1, 1935
    Occupation  : Film producer