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    paul reiser Quotes

    Two or three times a week, I drive by the houses of numbers 78-100 just to rub it in.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: time 
     
    It turns out most of the conclusions that I've come to in life have equally valid contradictions. I think it's true you need to make a plan, set a goal and stick to it, but I would also advise: Don't keep your eyes so fixed on your goal that you miss what sneaks up to surprise you, because magic will come from unexpected places.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: magic  true  eyes  goal 
     
    We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: girls  boys  wife 
     
    If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: hurt 
     
    But you get past that and realize you have to let go of what you think you want. There'll be plenty of time for that later. Right now, go and be with that baby. Just play with this beautiful little boy
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: time  past  beautiful  right  boys 
     
    The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: book 
     
    My wife would say my worst habit is that I'm not good at dropping subjects. If something bothers me, I'll bring it up endlessly and relentlessly. I think it's a search for clarity, but she uses different words.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: clarity  wife 
     
    Marriage is just an elaborate game that allows two selfish people to periodically feel that they're not.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: people  marriage  games 
     
    The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: america 
     
    Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. "This is Sleeping, right?" "Exactly." "I just lie here?" "That's right." "Okay." Then back to sleep they go.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: lies  sleep  right  wrong  real 
     
    My parenting style could be described as not good cop or bad cop so much as nervous cop. I'm always yelling for somebody to stop because they're about to get hurt. I'm the take a jacket, slow down guy.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: hurt  bad  parenting 
     
    Peanut butter and lamb chops were not foods that had ever been a significant part of our life before pregnancy. In fact, my wife almost never ate either.So where did these craving come from? I concluded it's the baby, ordering in.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: food  ordering  facts  wife 
     
    There was a period where our child's birth was getting really close, and we still had nothing. We were dangerously close to calling him Untitled Baby Project.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: birth 
     
    A new child in the house is a huge tourist attraction. It's like Disneyland, except there the lines are longer and no one brings casseroles.
    — Paul Reiser
    Middle names are kind of like vice presidents: It's a fine distinction and certainly an honor, but you're never not aware that someone else got the real job.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: job  real  honor 
     
    When you get busy, the priorities change. In your twenties, you hang out with who you were in school with. Then you grow up and you hang out with the people you're playing ball with, things you like doing with. When you get married, it changes a bit and you lose some friends, or you gain other friends. You gain couple-y friends. It changes again when you have children, and then when your children are the focus of your life.
    — Paul Reiser
    Happiness is the quiet lull between problems.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: happiness  problem 
     
    The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed together is funny, idiotic, or really sweet. Being connected is pretty miraculous.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: funny  moment 
     
    Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: world 
     
    In traditional TV, it's very hard to have the luxury of banking all your scripts and getting everything in a row, but it does make it very easy, and it's very productive and beneficial and you learn as you're going.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: learn 
     
    The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.
    — Paul Reiser
    In some cultures they don't name their babies right away. They wait until they see how the child develops. Like in Dances with Wolves. Unfortunately, our kids' names would be less romantic and poetic. "This is my oldest boy, Falls off His Tricycle, his friend, Dribbles His Juice, and my beautiful daughter, Allergic to Nuts.
    — Paul Reiser
    People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources-all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: people  food 
     
    We have such a long, familiar history with Peter Falk. The minute his mug is on that screen people smile.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: people  smile 
     
    Every time I see Peter Falk in the movie I think that would be great. We'd be fun together
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: time  fun  movie 
     
    And after you've done the acting, there's a lot of places you can put your input - in the editing, in the production of it, in the rewriting of it and so on
    — Paul Reiser
    And in that time, I lost my dad and had kids of my own. It was like, OK, I get it now. I know what fatherhood is all about. And you look at your parents differently
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: time  lost  parent  kids 
     
    In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: facts  movie  ideas 
     
    There are two types of people in life - those who get it and those who don't.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: people 
     
    Field of Dreams is the only movie - and I saw it in the theater - on an afternoon when I was on location somewhere, and there were like 12 people in the theater. I was just so devastated; I couldn't get out of my seat. And I sat and watched it a second time.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: time  people  movie  dreams 
     
    But at the same time that the experience is pulling you apart, it's also bonding you. You have this joint venture! You both made this baby. And that's the thing I still can't get over
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: time  experience 
     
    I'd never directed before and this movie's too important to me to put in the hands of some guy who has never directed. Even if it's me
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: movie 
     
    It's not like some movies where you're following a bunch of different stories you can cut around. There was nowhere to cut to. It's these guys. We're not cutting back to anybody else
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: movie  stories 
     
    I can't get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife's breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center has now become a juice bar.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: past  food  facts 
     
    Younger kids, they understand that things aren't so perfect with their father or with their mother.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: father  mother  kids 
     
    When you realize you would consider not having a child just so you could take an occasional snooze and be available to see Batman Retires the same weekend it comes out, you have to take a good hard look at yourself and acknowledge, I am a shallow, shallow person.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: children  people  child 
     
    New parents always sound like hucksters in a pyramid scheme. Anyone who has kids and then gets you to go and have kids gets a check from Huckster Headquarters.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: parent  kids 
     
    By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act; it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: god 
     
    The most used appliance in our house is my 10-year-old son Leon's Xbox.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: son 
     
    When people talk about wanting to have children someday, what they really mean is that they want babies. Nobody wants an angry adolescent. Nobody wants an obnoxious seven-year-old trying to wear out dirty words they just learned in school that day. What they really want is cute, adorable babies who love you and need you. The bad stuff is just the price you agree to pay for having the good stuff.
    — Paul Reiser
    tags: children  people  cute  child  bad  school 
     
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