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    patton oswalt Quotes

    If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness.
    — Patton Oswalt
    I look pretty nondescript. I don't go out of my way to... I don't express my personality with my clothes, with my car or my, you know, house. I express with my personality; so as far as what I wear - I don't really care about that.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: personality  care 
     
    The truly great actors, like Charlize Theron, are just like, "I'm an actor. For hire. I show up, I do my job." There's no "I'm just waiting for the inspiration." They just do their jobs. They say, "Let's go over the scene a few times and get it."
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: time  job 
     
    Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn't know what I was doing and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: work  job 
     
    Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: women  funny 
     
    The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that for friendships. It's great to have followers, especially if you want to sell albums, promote shows, or promote your friends, but you still need to get outside and talk to other human beings.
    — Patton Oswalt
    I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: people  bad  atheist  religious 
     
    There is a part of my generation that is not on social media because they have happy lives and they're not trying to connect with anybody. And there are other people who are on social media because they need to connect.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: people  live  media 
     
    Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you're not being a slave to your possessions.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: living  money 
     
    I have a very tiny house in Burbank. I drive an 8-year-old car. I'm gonna drive it into the ground. I enjoy what I enjoy.
    — Patton Oswalt
    Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: nature  human  comedy  knowing 
     
    We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: gay  conservative 
     
    You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any situation.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: time  meaning  passion 
     
    Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: magic 
     
    We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: evil  humanity 
     
    You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
    — Patton Oswalt
    I identify [myself] as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.
    — Patton Oswalt
    I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.
    — Patton Oswalt
    If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
    — Patton Oswalt
    I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.
    — Patton Oswalt
    What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking; if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.
    — Patton Oswalt
    Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: bad  alcohol 
     
    So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'
    — Patton Oswalt
    The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.
    — Patton Oswalt
    I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: time  right 
     
    Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: people  bad  parent  kids 
     
    I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I'm just saying that movies have a better creative cache.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: saying  movie  creative 
     
    This sounds like a brag, but I know how to make good fried rice. I learned in college. There are two secrets - take the rice after you cook it and let it get cold in the fridge. Then cook the egg like you're making a fried egg and just before it's done, dump the rice and veg on it and swirl it around.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: secret  college 
     
    Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: young  adult 
     
    Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: time 
     
    I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.
    — Patton Oswalt
    As you get older, as a comedian, and keep doing it, what you actually start to cherish on stage is not the build-up to the jokes, but how comfortable you can be in the silence and the non-laughing parts, and how long you can take the audience without a laugh to then get a huge reaction.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: silence 
     
    Just think of yourself as starting from zero every time. That's what I do with every new role. I'm at zero, and I'm going to do the work.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: time  work 
     
    I would always rather shoot for something unique and fail than do a script because I feel like they're hitting all the right mainstream beats.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: right  fail 
     
    What I'm realizing as I get older is that a movie's mainstream success is just as unpredictable as a movie's cult success. Plenty of movies that are truly odd and deserve cults, don't have cults. It's just as much of a crapshoot to be a cult hit as it is to be a mainstream success. Isn't that weird?
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: movie  success 
     
    I love doing movies, but right now, television is the way Hollywood was in the late '60s and early '70s. The dream era I would have loved to have been part of in Hollywood then is happening right now, but it's happening on television, with these big complicated story arcs and real character-driven shows and sheer ambiguity left and right.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: right  real  movie  stories  dreams 
     
    Nowadays - and I don't want to make some dopey cultural statement here - everyone can be, just by existing in society, because we all have a ship that we follow. Even if it's other people, like on MySpace pages, we're just as collective of enthusiasts now. That seems to be the world we're in.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: people  society  world 
     
    With acting, you see some of the kids are literally just off the street, untrained, and they are great. And others are off the street, untrained, and kind of horrible.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: kids 
     
    I know how my body operates differently from what it did when it was 30 and when it was 20. As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: body 
     
    I haven't sworn off Facebook. I'm on Facebook. There's a fan page on Facebook that I will update, but I'm on there myself under a pseudonym, because there were a lot of people able to private-message me on Facebook, and it was getting really weird. And then with MySpace, I just don't read messages. I delete everything, and I just post updates every now and then.
    — Patton Oswalt
    tags: people  read 
     
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