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    p. g. wodehouse Quotes

    Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: men  young 
     
    Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    Routine is the death to heroism.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: death 
     
    It was one of those days you sometimes get latish in the autumn when the sun beams, the birds toot, and there is a bracing tang in the air that sends the blood beetling briskly through the veins.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: blood 
     
    Flowers are happy things.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: flowers 
     
    I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: library 
     
    My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: people 
     
    A roll and butter and a small coffee seemed the only things on the list that hadn't been specially prepared by the nastier-minded members of the Borgia family for people they had a particular grudge against, so I chose them.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: people 
     
    She had more curves than a scenic railway
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: girls  brain  marry  quantity 
     
    When you're alone you don't do much laughing.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: alone 
     
    Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: human  facts  cat  god  shares  censor 
     
    If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: race 
     
    The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: real  cat  majority 
     
    He's like one of those weird birds in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn't quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals slain in anger and pie.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: animals  anger  space  india 
     
    It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: people  right  wrong  rules  advantage 
     
    Half a league Half a league Half a league onward With a hey-nonny-nonny And a hot cha-cha.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    Do you ever get moods when life seems absolutely meaningless? It's like a badly-constructed story, with all sorts of characters moving in and out who have nothing to do with the plot. And when somebody comes along that you think really has something to do with the plot, he suddenly drops out. After a while you begin to wonder what the story is about, and you feel that it's about nothing-just a jumble.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: young  golf  year 
     
    That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: men  wishes 
     
    I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: mental  ideas 
     
    Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: worth 
     
    Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: dark 
     
    Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: men  young  shame 
     
    The test of a great golfer is his ability to recover from a bad start.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: bad 
     
    I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: absurd 
     
    Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: women  hell 
     
    [He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face; an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: young  wishes  hindu 
     
    It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: time  dog 
     
    I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: write 
     
    To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: character  true  golf 
     
    It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: crimes 
     
    I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: rules  success 
     
    When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: girls 
     
    I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
    — P. G. Wodehouse
    tags: writing  stories 
     
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