marshall b. rosenberg Quotes

However, what lingered in my mind was that one person's dissatisfaction. We tend to notice what's wrong rather than what's right.
tags: right wrong mind
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
In this stage, which I refer to as emotional slavery, we believe ourselves responsible for the feelings of others. We think we must constantly strive to keep everyone happy. If they don't appear happy, we feel responsible and compelled to do something about it. This can easily lead us to see the very people who are closest to us as burdens.
tags: people believe slavery emotional
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. For as you judge others, so you will yourselves be judged" -Holy Bible, Matthew 7:1
tags: bible
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Don't mix up that which is habitual with that which is natural.
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Appreciation expressed in this form reveals little of what's going on in the speaker;
tags: appreciation
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
peace cannot be built on the foundations of fear.
tags: fear peace
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.
tags: desires fear peace people human violence revenge education goal relationship ignorance
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.
tags: heart compassion giving
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.
tags: silence violence empathy help potential
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
tags: action praise
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.
tags: anger
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
tags: action violent
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Get very clear about the kind of world we would like and then start living that way.
tags: living world
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.
tags: strategy
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
tags: people wrong
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Life-Enriching Education: an education that prepares children to learn throughout their lives, relate well to others, and themselves, be creative, flexible, and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all of humankind.
tags: children live empathy child education learn creative
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
The objective of Nonviolent Communication is not to change people and their behavior in order to get our way: it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy, which will eventually fulfill everyone's needs.
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.
tags: learning
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.
tags: dangerous
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.
tags: advice empathy strong
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
tags: people insult
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.
tags: thinking
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
In empathy, you don't speak at all. You speak with the eyes. You speak with your body. If you say any words at all, it's because you are not sure you are with the person. So you may say some words. But the words are not empathy. Empathy is when the other person feels the connection with what's alive in you.
tags: people empathy body eyes
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
If I'm using Nonviolent Communication I never, never, never hear what somebody thinks about me. Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. You'll enjoy life more. Hear the truth. The truth is that when somebody's telling you what's wrong with you, the truth is they have a need that isn't getting met. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear the analysis.
tags: truth pain live communication wrong
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.
tags: human gift
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
tags: people pain violence
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.
tags: criticism anger
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.
tags: power
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also.
tags: goal
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Natural Giving: Anything we do in life which is not out of that energy, we pay for and everybody else pays for. Anything we do to avoid punishment, everybody pays for. Everything we do for a reward, everybody pays for. Everything we do to make people like us, everybody pays for. Everything we do out of guilt, shame, duty, or obligation, everybody pays for.
tags: people energy guilt shame punishment
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.
tags: belief people pain violence punishment
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear their analysis.
tags: pain live
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.
tags: growth
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need.
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
The Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti once remarked that observing without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence. When I first read this statement, the thought, 'What nonsense!' shot through my mind before I realized that I had just made an evaluation.
tags: thoughts human intelligence mind philosopher read
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
tags: compassion focus
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I'm in a different world.
tags: time people world thoughts thinking
— Marshall B. Rosenberg
You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had.
tags: wishes kids
— Marshall B. Rosenberg