As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem-neat, plausible, and wrong.
Democracy is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false - face for the urge to rule it.
Self- respect - the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.
The kind of man who wants the government to adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic.
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers.
Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
Poverty is a soft pedal upon the branches of human activity, not excepting the spiritual.
The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
Unionism, seldom if ever, uses such powers as it has to ensure better work; almost always it devotes a large part of that power to safeguard bad work.
The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.
The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule-and both commonly succeed, and are right.
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
The State doesn't just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
The state remains, as it was in the beginning, the common enemy of all well-disposed, industrious and decent men.
The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration - courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth.
The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only opposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts at rational thinking.