george mikes Quotes

There is nothing personal in the fact that they ignore you: they are simply Miltonists. All English shop assistants are Miltonists. A Miltonist firmly believes that "they also serve who only stand and wait.
tags: personal believe facts
— George Mikes
While all this goes on, the English remain staunch believers in equality. Equality is a notion the English have given to humanity. Equality means that you are just as good as the next man but the next man is not half as good as you are.
tags: humanity men equality believer
— George Mikes
Many Continentals tink life is a game; the English think cricet is a game.
tags: games
— George Mikes
You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
tags: animals people cat
— George Mikes
The country has always been governed by a coalition but today it is governed by a so-called Grand Coalition which is a more polite word for all and sundry.
— George Mikes
Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die in Jerusalem. It is the finest place to die in - it has always been acknowledged. It has a joie de mourir quite its own.
tags: time world die religious
— George Mikes
People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth.
tags: truth people lies dreams england
— George Mikes
In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly, "I don't object, you know." If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: "I rather fancy you, in fact.
tags: facts boys passion england
— George Mikes
The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.
tags: human
— George Mikes
It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy outside. 'Go and look at a railway station,' I was told, 'and you'll be horrified.' I went and was horrified; horrified by the cleanliness of the place.
— George Mikes
Travel' is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in themid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease - its scientific name is travelitis furiosus - is carried by a germ called prosperity.
tags: travel
— George Mikes
I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.
tags: thoughts night occasion
— George Mikes
The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to kill.
tags: die
— George Mikes
There are many non-intellectual countries; Australia is one of the few anti-intellectual ones.
— George Mikes
When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.
tags: people england
— George Mikes
When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony; but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : "We are not amused".
tags: russia england
— George Mikes
Australia objects to the mini-skirt not on moral but on economic grounds. Australians are no prudes and the lovely, healthy, sporty Australian girls have no reason to hide their knees and thighs. However, the mini-skirt is disastrous for the wool-trade.
tags: girls healthy morals economics
— George Mikes
You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if you are tired; if anybody thinks that you might be tired; if you are nervous; if you are gay; before you go out; if you are out; if you have just returned home; if you feel like it; if you do not feel like it; if you have had no tea for some time; if you have just had a cup.
— George Mikes
It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out.
tags: language decision year
— George Mikes
Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false.
tags: humility virtue
— George Mikes
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
tags: alone
— George Mikes
A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.
tags: cat dog
— George Mikes
Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.
tags: games
— George Mikes
Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.
tags: time young value wild school educational
— George Mikes
The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today.
tags: complex
— George Mikes
You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
tags: animals people cat
— George Mikes
The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath.
tags: men hero danger afraid
— George Mikes
A foreign observer is struck by our gentleness: by the orderly behaviour of the English crowds, the lack of pushing and quarrelling, the willingness to form queues.
— George Mikes
In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.
tags: living attention
— George Mikes
'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'
tags: help
— George Mikes
A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the Soviet Union. He had learnt it at elementary school; at secondary school; at his sports club; at the Komsomol; at the university; at a folk dancing course; at the chess-club.
tags: time
— George Mikes
Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them.
tags: people garden
— George Mikes
What beefsteak is to Argentina, flamenco to Spain, cool reserve and self-control in all situations to an Englishman, what vodka is to a Russian and beer to a Bavarian, what money is to a Swiss, that is outdoor-life to an Australian. It is a noble mania, better than vodka, better than cool reserve, better than money.
tags: money noble
— George Mikes
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.
tags: people england
— George Mikes
The world still consists of two clearly divided groups: the English and the foreigners. One group consists of less than 50 million people; the other of 3,950 million. The latter group does not really count.
tags: world
— George Mikes
Japan suffered terribly from the atomic bomb but never adopted a pose of moral superiority, implying: 'We would never have done it!' The Japanese know perfectly well they would have used it had they had it. They accept the idea that war is war; they give no quarter and accept none. Total war, they recognize, knows no Queensberry Rules. If you develop a devastating new weapon during a total war, you use it; you do not put it into the War Museum.
tags: rules war morals ideas
— George Mikes
To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet.
— George Mikes
Prices in Italy are only slightly lower than in France, which means that Italy is a very expensive country for everyone, natives, visitors and tourists.
— George Mikes
English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.
tags: humor strong
— George Mikes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
tags: war
— George Mikes
george mikes
Birth    : February 15, 1912
Death  : August 15, 1987
Occupation  : Author