Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.
There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.
All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.
The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.
Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.
Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.
My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?' Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?
Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.
Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.
I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
So many books, so little time.
Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to.
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.
The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.
Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.
Without deviation progress is not possible.
A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.
It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.
Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.
You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
Music is always a commentary on society.
One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.