eoin colfer Quotes

The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.
tags: problem care questions
— Eoin Colfer
You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T- Shirt that read 'I'm a clue
tags: read
— Eoin Colfer
We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.
tags: idiot
— Eoin Colfer
I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
tags: imagine
— Eoin Colfer
In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter-they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.
tags: experience girls boys
— Eoin Colfer
Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.
— Eoin Colfer
You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.
tags: imagination
— Eoin Colfer
Good. Illegal is always faster.
— Eoin Colfer
Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.
— Eoin Colfer
Trust me. I'm a genius.
tags: trust genius
— Eoin Colfer
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
— Eoin Colfer
If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.
tags: crazy
— Eoin Colfer
It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.
tags: learning
— Eoin Colfer
I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
— Eoin Colfer
Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
tags: confidence ignorance
— Eoin Colfer
I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
— Eoin Colfer
Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.
tags: humor
— Eoin Colfer
Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
— Eoin Colfer
Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.
tags: human
— Eoin Colfer
Hit that back- stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
tags: hurt ambition right
— Eoin Colfer
I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.
tags: right
— Eoin Colfer
I often meet frustrated young writers who say they've only got so far and just can't finish a book. Even if you don't happen to use what you've worked on that day, it has taught you something and you'll be amazed when you might come back to it and use it again.
tags: young book
— Eoin Colfer
I have a lovely office at the back of my house; it's an old stable and you can see right out to the countryside on one side and into the house on the other side.
tags: right
— Eoin Colfer
I have always loved 'Stig of the Dump.' I think reading that book made me officially realise that I was a reader.
tags: reading book
— Eoin Colfer
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom.
tags: read kids
— Eoin Colfer
I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show.
tags: doctor
— Eoin Colfer
The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one series is over; you're going to go and find something else.
tags: reading
— Eoin Colfer
When I went to school, I was already reading and writing. In fact, I was offended that the other kids couldn't.
tags: facts school writing reading kids
— Eoin Colfer
What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.
tags: people book violent
— Eoin Colfer
Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
tags: men
— Eoin Colfer
No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
tags: world
— Eoin Colfer
A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
tags: moon
— Eoin Colfer
The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.
tags: evolution
— Eoin Colfer
Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.
tags: thoughts earth boys
— Eoin Colfer
Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder
tags: questions school computer
— Eoin Colfer
It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.
tags: year
— Eoin Colfer
Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.
tags: real
— Eoin Colfer
Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
— Eoin Colfer
Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.
tags: evolution
— Eoin Colfer
The two of them went down in a heap, with not even a turkey to break their fall.
— Eoin Colfer
eoin colfer
Birth    : May 14, 1965
Occupation  : Author