Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.
There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in humanity.
The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.
Achieving it is not only the chief means of adding to your regular duties.
It's your ability to inspire and uplift other people that matters, not your ability to outdo them.