There are people we treat wrong and later, we're prepared to treat other people right.
And this is how I know that it's all just words, words, words - that fundamentally, they make no difference... Our relationship, for as long as things were good, and in that moment when they could have been good again, was about the irrelevance of words. You feel what you feel, you act as you act, who in the history of the world has ever been convinced by a well-reasoned argument?
If a man wants to be romantically involved with you, he tries to kiss you. That's the entire story, and if he doesn't kiss you, there is never a reason to wait around for him.
In life we're most hell-bent on proving things that we're not really sure are true.
She nodded, jotting something in her notebook. You're writing that down? Has the interview started?" Lee, whenever you're talking to a reporter, you're being interviewed.
Later on, when I tried to imagine how I might have ruined things, that would occur to me - that I'd so rarely resisted, that I hadn't made it hard enough for him. Maybe it was like gathering your strength and hurling your body against a door you believe to be locked, and then the door opens easily - it wasn't locked at all - and you're standing looking into the room, trying to remember what it was you thought you wanted.
She opened her mouth but did not immediately speak, and I felt, simultaneously, the impulse to coax the words from her and the impulse to suppress them. I always thought I wanted to know a secret, or I wanted an event to unfold " I wanted my life to start " but in those rare moments when it seemed like something might actually change, panic shot through me.
I just like to inhabit a character really deeply.
It is not a camera, or a reporter that makes something real and genuine; more often a camera or a reporter does the opposite.
The better you learn to take care of yourself, the less you settle for being around people who can't or won't treat you as well as you're accustomed.
To remain alone did not seem to me a terrible fate, no worse than being falsely joined to another person.
If I'm at somebody's house and they have magazines on the table and people are chatting, I feel almost a physical urge to start reading the magazines instead of talking to people.
Foolish names and foolish faces often appear in public places.
And an unstable childhood makes you appreciate calmness and not crave excitement. To spend a Saturday afternoon mopping your kitchen floor while listening to opera on the radio, and to go that night to an Indian restaurant with a friend and be home by nine o'clock - these are enough. They are gifts.
I have always found the times when another person recognizes you to be strangely sad; I suspect the pathos of these moments is their rareness, the way they contrast with most daily encounters. That reminder that it can be different, that you need not go through your life unknown but that you probably still will-that is the part that's almost unbearable.
There are a lot of things in the world that are a lot weirder than psychic abilities, that we accept as true.
Probably I, like a lot of people, became a writer in imitation of or in homage to the books I enjoyed. When you're so captivated by something, you think, could I do that? Hmm, let me try
We have to make mistakes, its how we learn compassion for others
I always worried someone would notice me, and then when no one did, I felt lonely.
I gave people the benefit of the doubt, thinking, so many people that appear very calm and even boring must have all these wild emotions and crazy ideas.
Perhaps this is how you know you're doing the thing you're intended to: No matter how slow or how slight your progress, you never feel that it's a waste of time.
We all make mistakes, don't we? But if you can't forgive yourself, you'll always be an exile in your own life.
I'm able to separate fiction and reality. I guess it remains to be seen if other people are.
In some ways I think it would be very dignified if I went away for twenty years and then wrote my fourth book.
The fact is that in this day and age I don't think any novelist can assume that a book will get attention.
There are so many people who are so much better qualified to write about politics than I am.
Well, I think in my first two novels, both the characters are pretty neurotic, which I would say that I am.
I don't think that I would ever, while writing, think to myself, "I need a little more psychological realism."
When I was writing my first two books I was also freelancing and teaching and doing other odd jobs.
You know, the point of a novel - or to me, the point of a novel, the gift of a novel is to go really deeply inside people's lives and inside their personal experiences.
I think I write what's interesting to me, and so if I'm reading I like to have a very thorough idea of a character in a book that's by someone else.
I have this theory that the likeability question comes up so much more with female characters created by female authors than it does with male characters and male authors
People who think my books are autobiographical, which they're not, credit me with having a much better memory than I do. I do, however, have a powerful imagination
I don't really have special rituals, but I don't try to write fiction unless I have a minimum of a few hours. For me, it takes a while to settle into a mode where I'm truly concentrating
I like it when characters are some combination of appealing and maybe flawed or self-interested. I think in terms of scenes, and what I want a scene to achieve, and I think that the psychological realism arises from that.
It's never that hard for me to imagine what it must feel like to be someone else, whether it's an American teenage girl or a Japanese octogenarian man
Personally, I have never wished I were a male novelist.
If you're a parent in 2013, you have to get your hands on this book. Wise, engrossing, and so real that I fear Senior has been spying inside my house, All Joy is a must-read for those of us whose lives have been enriched and derailed by having kids.
I think I would have liked to have been a twin. Sometimes my sisters and I get mistaken for twins, and I always take it as a compliment.
I feel like if you read something, and it makes you so curious about a topic that you then go read something else, that's exciting.