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    christopher moore Quotes

    I was baptized Methodist, but I was mainly raised First Church of NFL, which is to say that my family, especially my father, was much more concerned with watching football on Sundays than attending services.
    — Christopher Moore
    I think beta males on an evolutionary basis are much more successful than the alpha males are. You don't hear much about us, but there's a lot more of us out there.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: successful 
     
    I have that special sort of novelist body of knowledge which is extraordinarily wide and very, very shallow. So I can usually answer the questions on 'Jeopardy,' but never the bonus question.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: body  questions 
     
    I can't write a book like 'Lamb' or 'Fool' every year. It just takes too much research and craft.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: craft  book  write  research  year  fools 
     
    You know, a vampire book is not a book to be the vehicle for big themes and stuff, where sometimes when you're dealing with art or the life of Christ or the oeuvre of Shakespeare, you know, it's a little more ambitious.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: vampire  christ  book 
     
    The reason I wrote 'You Suck' was that I so enjoyed spending time with Tommy and Jody.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: time 
     
    When you go on book tour, you're always talking about yourself and your book from the time you get up in the morning until you go out at night. You, you. You get really sick of yourself.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: time  night  book 
     
    I don't read reviews if I know in advance they're negative, because I can't have my confidence undermined when I'm writing.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: writing  read  confidence 
     
    One thing that's really delightful is my books tend to attract people who are funny, so I get the benefit of people writing me with things that crack me up.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: people  funny  writing  book 
     
    I just finished a novel called 'Exult,' by Joe Quirk, last night. It's about hang gliding. I liked his first book, too, 'The Ultimate Rush.' I now know that I never, ever, ever want to go hang gliding, so that's good.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: night  novel  book 
     
    You can't teach someone to be funny, but you can teach comic timing. If you listen to a good comic, you can learn how to put it on a page.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: funny  timing  learn 
     
    I'm not nearly as outrageously brave as many of my rascals that I write. But I think the rascal spirit must reside in me somewhere.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: write  spirit 
     
    When I was writing 'You Suck,' in 2006, I constructed the diction of the book's narrator, perky Goth girl Abby Normal, from what I read on Goth blog sites.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: girls  writing  book  read 
     
    I'm not afraid of getting into a subject I don't know much about.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: afraid 
     
    I really don't think of my work in terms of a genre. I think of it in terms of what I want to say, what I think is cool, and what I'm good at.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: work 
     
    When you're telling stories, you are actually trying to illuminate some portion of the truth in an artful way. The story may immediately seem to be a lie, but it's like an impressionistic painting - you see the light and the color better than you would with a photo-realistic piece.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: truth  lies  stories  painting 
     
    I've made a dog's breakfast of English history, geography, 'King Lear,' and the English language in general.
    — Christopher Moore
    I love British cursing - the cadence of it, the joy in the sound of the words, and the vulgarity of it.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: joy 
     
    Like most people, I woke up one day to find that everyone I knew was taking antidepressants, and since I wasn't, I figured that I must be the cause of their depression.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: people  depression 
     
    Everything in Venice is just a little bit creepy, as much as it's beautiful.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: beautiful 
     
    I kind of dislike 'For Whom the Bell Tolls,' but most of Hemingway in general, mainly because his stylistic shenanigans ruined so many young writers of my generation who tried to imitate him. I think, for his time, he moved fiction to a different level stylistically, or at least added to the dialogue, but in our time, he's annoying.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: time  young  fiction 
     
    I don't give a toss about being remembered after my death.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: death 
     
    All of the trickster, rascal characters that I write have the voice I aspire to. In real life, you can't be that obnoxious and get away with it.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: character  real  write 
     
    As an author, you spend a lot of time by yourself in a room making clicky noises. It gets pretty insulated. You realize pretty early on in your career that even if this goes well, you could spend all your life in a room alone. Unless you pick projects that are going to get you out doing things, you're not going to actually live your life.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: time  live  alone  career  author 
     
    The reason I'm writing funny books is that I wish there were more.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: funny  wishes  writing  book 
     
    The only thing that matters to me about my stories is that they're entertaining and they're funny. And I tend to get bored easily, so I generally throw something supernatural in. I would say they're humorous novels that have a supernatural bent, but that's as close as you're going to get to fitting them all in the same basket.
    — Christopher Moore
    I've sort of made a reputation by high-stepping my way out of genre. As soon as somebody says, 'He does this,' I'm not standing there anymore.
    — Christopher Moore
    My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: humor 
     
    As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me.
    — Christopher Moore
    I thought I was going to be a horror story writer. My influences were horror writers, like Rich Matheson, Ray Bradbury and Bram Stoker.
    — Christopher Moore
    ... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: questions  jesus 
     
    As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education.
    — Christopher Moore
    Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.
    — Christopher Moore
    Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: christmas 
     
    Science, you don't know, looks like magic.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: magic 
     
    [in reference to turkey bowling] He [Tommy] squinted and picked his target, then took his steps and sent the bird sliding down the aisle. A collective gasp rose from the crew as the fourteen-pound, self-basting, fresh-frozen projectile of wholesome savory goodness plowed into the soap bottles like a freight train into a chorus line of drunken grandmothers.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: goodness 
     
    Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....
    — Christopher Moore
    Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or booty call, the humpback song is an amazing thing to experience firsthand, and I suspect that even once the science of it is put to bed, it will remain, as long as they sing, magic.
    — Christopher Moore
    And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
    — Christopher Moore
    I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
    — Christopher Moore
    tags: breakfast 
     
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    christopher moore
    Birth    : 1957
    Occupation  : Writer

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