Dear me, one day I'll make you proud.
So I forced myself to step out of my comfort zone and go out and connect with people. I realised that no one knew me here. I could become whoever I wanted to be for these people, and that became my courage.
There are very few friends that will lie down with you on empty streets in the middle of the night, without a word. No questions, no asking why, just quietly lay there with you, observing the stars, until you're ready to get back up on your feet again and walk the last bit home, softly holding your hand as a quiet way of saying "œI'm here". It was a beautiful night.
Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others.
So you will meet many 'someones' who will give a new definition to your name. And you can not build walls, must not close the door and please don't hide, because if you ask me about hurt and love I will say love. Love because the hurt will come and go no matter what, but only love makes it worth while. Only love can cure it. Don't be scared. Go. Love.
This is my story. I don't know where I'm going, but I know I'm going somewhere beautiful, and I know I'm on my way... It's been a beautiful adventure. It always will be.
There's something about arriving in new cities, wandering empty streets with no destination. I will never lose the love for the arriving, but I'm born to leave.
I want my life to be the greatest story. My very existence will be the greatest poem. Watch me burn. Love always, Charlotte
I thought that if I owned nothing, had nothing, was nothing, I would have nothing left to lose, and I wouldn't be scared anymore. Because my whole life I've been so damn scared. Scared to live because I was scared to die. But at the same I was so scared of living, so I wanted to die. Or maybe so scared of dying that I refused to live. You don't have to be afraid to fall, when you're already on the ground. You don't have to be scared to lose someone, when there's no one around to lose.
So many people will tell you "no", and you need to find something you believe in so hard that you just smile and tell them "watch me". Learn to take rejection as motivation to prove people wrong. Be unstoppable. Refuse to give up, no matter what. It's the best skill you can ever learn.
I am not a broken heart. I am not collarbones or drunken letters never sent. I am not the way I leave or left or didn't know how to handle anything, at any time, and I am not your fault.
I don't need anyone else to distract me from myself anymore, like I always thought I would.
I have lost and loved and won and cried myself to the person I am today.
I just want to be someone, to mean something to anyone"¦
It doesn't matter how many times you leave, it will always hurt to come back and remember what you once had and who you once were. Then it will hurt just as much to leave again, and so it goes over and over again. Once you've started to leave, you will run your whole life.
I haven't been very impressed lately. By people, or places, or the way someone said he loved me and then slowly changed his mind.
You read and write and sing and experience, thinking that one day these things will build the character you admire to live as. You love and lose and bleed best you can, to the extreme, hoping that one day the world will read you like the poem you want to be.
All I wanted was to live a life where I could be me, and be okay with that. I had no need for material possessions, money or even close friends with me on my journey. I never understood people very well anyway, and they never seemed to understand me very well either. All I wanted was my art and the chance to be the creator of my own world, my own reality. I wanted the open road and new beginnings every day.
Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I'll be happy for the rest of my fucked up little life.
Find what makes you happy and go for it with all your heart. It will be hard, but I promise it will be worth it.
And this is what being an artist means, being a poet? To sacrifice yourself for your art, sacrifice your heart for your art, because it's only through something broken that something beautiful can grow.
I believe in knowing who you are but without limiting yourself to your own expectation of who you are.
I will never lose the love for the arriving, but I'm born to leave.
Find something you love and go for it with all your heart. No excuses, no plan B. Never settle for anything less than you know you can do. It will be hard, but I promise it will be worth it.
Sometimes you have to realise that things will never change if you don't make a change yourself, and sometimes, you need to realise that it only happened so that you could learn something.
Do you wait for things to happen, or do you make them happen yourself? I believe in writing your own story.
It's just as hard to go back to a place you once left, as it is to leave it again.
Maybe I can learn to live in a way that makes it worth writing about, and maybe I can actually become something more than this empty shell.
When you think your life is falling apart, it's usually falling together in disguise.
But I believe that music can change a life, because it changed mine.
And the rain drops kept falling like the sweetest music leaving tears on the glass, which is what music does to me most of the time but silence too. and rain.
I am a free soul, singing my heart out by myself no matter where I go and I call strangers my friends because I learn things and find ways to fit them into my own world. I hear what people say, rearrange it, take away and tear apart until it finds value in my reality and there I make it work. I find spaces in between the cracks and cuts where it feels empty and there I make it work.
I just wish you could see my demons for what they are, and lay here beside me on the floor. No words. Just your presence.
I want to burn with excitement or anger and bleed, bleed out my words. I want to get all fucked up and write raw and ugly about all these things I see and am and could be.
I am a complicated person with a simple life.
Hurting people you love is the heaviest kind of regret.
There were days when I still put on make up in case you'd come back, but I wear the same clothes and shower in the rain and eat when I can and sleep when I can, which is rare and not often, so if you'd see me now on these streets where I once imagined walking with you you'd have a hard time recognising me. I takes a lot to run away.
I didn't do music to live; I lived so that I could do music.
I can't change the world, I can only change how I choose to live in it.
When the others were picked up and walked home by friends or fathers or best friend's sisters, I was the kid in a grey hoodie, walking with the poets, the singers, the thinkers, and I was not alone.