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    bob newhart Quotes

    This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.
    — Bob Newhart
    Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: attention 
     
    I never had an aversion because I was active in the drama club. If I had that aversion I certainly wouldn't put myself in the position of being on stage. Of course, in the drama club you're hiding behind a character.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: character  drama 
     
    More and more, as I get older, people come up to me and say, 'Thank you for all the laughter.' And my standard answer is, 'It was my pleasure.' But that's the truth.
    — Bob Newhart
    The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: humour 
     
    I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.
    — Bob Newhart
    I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: people  timing 
     
    All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: world  fun  job 
     
    I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.
    — Bob Newhart
    I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: humor  confusion  sacred 
     
    When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: work 
     
    There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I'll cry.
    — Bob Newhart
    I've been married forty-five years. I think laughter is the secret.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: laughter  secret  year 
     
    I'm very open to the up-and-comers.
    — Bob Newhart
    I love portraying the totally indifferent person.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: people 
     
    When I started out in 1960, I thought it might possibly last a couple of years. I never expected it to last 42. I take great satisfaction in that longevity.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: thoughts  year 
     
    The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: men  women  funny  live  problem  gay 
     
    Well, if you're a native Chicagoan, you know how dumb he [Dr. Robert Hartley] is. He gets on the Ravenswood El, he goes past his stop on Sheridan Road, he gets off in Evanston, where the El is on the ground, and then he walks back 55 blocks to his apartment. Now, would you want to have that man as a psychologist? A man who misses his stop every day?
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: men  past 
     
    The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror, which continued for another four or five years. There still is, a little bit.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: time  year 
     
    I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.
    — Bob Newhart
    You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock.
    — Bob Newhart
    Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: choice  career  wife 
     
    You should have a value system. You can win if you stick with your value system.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: value 
     
    A collison is what happens when two motorists go after the same pedestrian.
    — Bob Newhart
    Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic.
    — Bob Newhart
    Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: stock 
     
    I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.
    — Bob Newhart
    I don't have a stack of scripts.
    — Bob Newhart
    I've been a very lucky actor.
    — Bob Newhart
    The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I'm not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: discipline 
     
    Don't be silly and don't waste your time.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: time 
     
    Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: comedy  career 
     
    Because of the spin-meisters and the focus groups and the way politics is run now. It's run by polls and focus groups. So it's even more true today, I think, than it was some 40 years ago.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: focus  true  politics  year 
     
    I gave up accounting. I went in for about six months writing ad copy. I was fired from that, and then another guy and I did a kind of poor man's Bob and Ray kind of syndicated radio show. Then I decided to stick it out and see what happened. I'd give it a year, a year became two years, and then two years became three years, and then along came the record album.
    — Bob Newhart
    tags: poor  writing  year 
     
    I kind of do it in my head, then I'll try pieces of it on stage and if it looks promising, I'll put it together.
    — Bob Newhart
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