I like animals who trust people.
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.
I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
Every one starts out being an atheist.
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
Having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
That money doesn't buy class.
Those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
The last birthday that's any good is 23.
If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion- as long as it agrees with ours.
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Art is a by- product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.