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    amy sedaris Quotes

    I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone's yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: people  school 
     
    I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn't doing it. But very seldom does that happen.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: night  energy  wishes 
     
    David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: friends  son 
     
    I like to just make things... If I have the TV on, I'm not just going to sit there. I want to do something with my hands; I've always got a project. Or I get a small group of people over, and I say, 'Let's make these things today.'
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: people 
     
    Usually I'm the one asking somebody to do something because I don't know how to finish it. I'm like, 'Do this for me' because I'm just resistant to learning.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: learning 
     
    I like working with the public, and I like that it's really hard work.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: work 
     
    I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be' this person, you know? So then its like, if I'm really this person, how can I be in the moment if I know there's just one line I'm supposed to say? It doesn't feel natural. I always just kind of want to say whatever comes up.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: people  moment 
     
    People that know me know that I cook. I cook every night.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: people  night 
     
    Whenever I do your show, sometimes I get a little check in the mail and then I take that check and buy a new pair of shoes, and then I wear those shoes the next time I do your show.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: time 
     
    It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.
    — Amy Sedaris
    My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: people  advice  mother 
     
    Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: people  community  witch  demon 
     
    Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: school  stories 
     
    I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: failure  problem 
     
    I'm not ambitious when it comes to my acting career. I'm not breaking down my agency's doors or sending out headshots. Even when I'm offered work, I always want small parts. When it comes to things that other people have written, I just don't know what I'm doing. I'm terrible at memorizing a script and reading lines. I get confused and I don't understand and it just looks fake to me. It's more difficult for me to be creative that way.
    — Amy Sedaris
    Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: time  thoughts  problem  ideas 
     
    I swear I want to be a food model.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: food 
     
    Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: people 
     
    I need a costume to be convinced that I'm somebody else. Otherwise, it's just me. It's just Amy saying lines. I haven't really become somebody else. And what's the fun in that?
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: fun  saying 
     
    That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
    — Amy Sedaris
    Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: ideas 
     
    As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: time  heart  saying 
     
    I like dramas and stuff. That's what I watch, but it seems weird that I'd be in it.
    — Amy Sedaris
    My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: stories 
     
    I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: guilt  kids 
     
    My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
    — Amy Sedaris
    Don't associate me with comedy. And please don't say actress. I would never call myself any of those things. I hate it when people call me that.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: people  hate  comedy 
     
    You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: character  movie 
     
    Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.
    — Amy Sedaris
    I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.
    — Amy Sedaris
    Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: reality  job  ideas 
     
    I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.
    — Amy Sedaris
    Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: human 
     
    Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: real 
     
    Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: craft  gay 
     
    I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: crimes  thriller  die  book 
     
    A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: time  funny  girls 
     
    Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: children  people  space  child 
     
    I live in the moment.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: live  moment 
     
    You just can't enjoy any of the movie when you're in it.
    — Amy Sedaris
    tags: movie 
     
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    amy sedaris
    Birth    : March 29, 1961
    Occupation  : Actress