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    amy sedaris Quotes

    I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone's yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn.
    tags: people school
    — Amy Sedaris
    I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn't doing it. But very seldom does that happen.
    tags: night energy wishes
    — Amy Sedaris
    David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends.
    tags: friends son
    — Amy Sedaris
    I like to just make things... If I have the TV on, I'm not just going to sit there. I want to do something with my hands; I've always got a project. Or I get a small group of people over, and I say, 'Let's make these things today.'
    tags: people
    — Amy Sedaris
    Usually I'm the one asking somebody to do something because I don't know how to finish it. I'm like, 'Do this for me' because I'm just resistant to learning.
    tags: learning
    — Amy Sedaris
    I like working with the public, and I like that it's really hard work.
    tags: work
    — Amy Sedaris
    I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be' this person, you know? So then its like, if I'm really this person, how can I be in the moment if I know there's just one line I'm supposed to say? It doesn't feel natural. I always just kind of want to say whatever comes up.
    tags: people moment
    — Amy Sedaris
    People that know me know that I cook. I cook every night.
    tags: people night
    — Amy Sedaris
    Whenever I do your show, sometimes I get a little check in the mail and then I take that check and buy a new pair of shoes, and then I wear those shoes the next time I do your show.
    tags: time
    — Amy Sedaris
    It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.
    tags: desires time fire broken prison relationship
    — Amy Sedaris
    My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.
    tags: people advice mother
    — Amy Sedaris
    Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
    tags: people community witch demon
    — Amy Sedaris
    Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.
    tags: school stories
    — Amy Sedaris
    I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
    tags: failure problem
    — Amy Sedaris
    I'm not ambitious when it comes to my acting career. I'm not breaking down my agency's doors or sending out headshots. Even when I'm offered work, I always want small parts. When it comes to things that other people have written, I just don't know what I'm doing. I'm terrible at memorizing a script and reading lines. I get confused and I don't understand and it just looks fake to me. It's more difficult for me to be creative that way.
    tags: people work career reading creative
    — Amy Sedaris
    Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
    tags: time thoughts problem ideas
    — Amy Sedaris
    I swear I want to be a food model.
    tags: food
    — Amy Sedaris
    Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.
    tags: people
    — Amy Sedaris
    I need a costume to be convinced that I'm somebody else. Otherwise, it's just me. It's just Amy saying lines. I haven't really become somebody else. And what's the fun in that?
    tags: fun saying
    — Amy Sedaris
    That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
    — Amy Sedaris
    Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.
    tags: ideas
    — Amy Sedaris
    As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.
    tags: time heart saying
    — Amy Sedaris
    I like dramas and stuff. That's what I watch, but it seems weird that I'd be in it.
    — Amy Sedaris
    My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.
    tags: stories
    — Amy Sedaris
    I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.
    tags: guilt kids
    — Amy Sedaris
    My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
    — Amy Sedaris
    Don't associate me with comedy. And please don't say actress. I would never call myself any of those things. I hate it when people call me that.
    tags: people hate comedy
    — Amy Sedaris
    You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.
    tags: character movie
    — Amy Sedaris
    Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.
    — Amy Sedaris
    I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.
    tags: poverty craft imagination
    — Amy Sedaris
    Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.
    tags: reality job ideas
    — Amy Sedaris
    I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.
    tags: time people alone opportunities
    — Amy Sedaris
    Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.
    tags: human
    — Amy Sedaris
    Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.
    tags: real
    — Amy Sedaris
    Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.
    tags: craft gay
    — Amy Sedaris
    I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.
    tags: crimes thriller die book
    — Amy Sedaris
    A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
    tags: time funny girls
    — Amy Sedaris
    Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
    tags: children people space child
    — Amy Sedaris
    I live in the moment.
    tags: live moment
    — Amy Sedaris
    You just can't enjoy any of the movie when you're in it.
    tags: movie
    — Amy Sedaris
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    amy sedaris
    Birth    : March 29, 1961
    Occupation  : Actress