Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
Stop shoulding on yourself.
Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.
The art of love... is largely the art of persistence
Self- esteem is the greatest sickness known to man or woman because it's conditional.
Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
Religious fanaticism has clearly produced, and in all probability will continue to produce, enormous amounts of bickering, fighting, violence, bloodshed, homicide, feuds, wars, and genocide.
Whenever you avoid alarming situations, you almost always increase your anxiety about them.
I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.
I hope to die in the saddle seat.
Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.
I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
You have only to exist as you do and to live your life as best you can.
I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven't got the time to take the kids to the goddamn ballgame.
Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
Most things worth having require some sacrifice, usually more than you expect.
And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.
The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.
Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.
Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.
We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
If something is irrational, that means it won't work. It's usually unrealistic.
To forgive people and yourself for poor behavior is to be sensible and realistic.
Neurosis is just a high- class word for whining.
The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.
Failure doesn't have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.
You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thorough going key to serenity.
People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.
Even when people act nastily to you, don't condemn them or retaliate.
Worrying about dying will hardly help you live.
We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming- or damning.
People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.
Being assertive does not mean attacking or ignoring others feelings. It means that you are willing to hold up for yourself fairly- without attacking others.
Strong feelings are fine; it's the overreactions that mess us up.
The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don't get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.
The attitude of unconditional self-acceptance is probably the most important variable in their long-term recovery.